Dear Special One,
Growing up, we were best friends. I remember the first conversation we had about being the hated middle child. We were in your backyard sitting on that white bench by the stairs to go into the basement. From there, our relationship only blossomed. We shared so many things with each other and I always wished that I could bring you into my family as my older sister. I followed you everywhere, even into high school. We did bad things and cut school all the time. Those were the good old days. But then everything changed. There was a bad guy and he did something very bad to you. I hated him and I wanted to save you from him. But you stayed with him. And I resented you for that. I became so emotionally exhausted trying to get you out of there. But you stayed. I remembered I did something so dumb which was to give you an ultimatum. I said it was either him or me and that I would stop talking to you if you continued to talk to him. You never answered me, but you continued to talk to him so I took that as your answer. And from there we drifted. For about two years we stopped talking. Until one day you called me up in tears and asked to see me. You were thinking about killing yourself and it was an emergency. I ran out of school and met up with you immediately. We sat in the 34th street Macy’s for around 3-4 hours just catching up. You told me all that has happened in the past couple of years when we stopped talking and I just remember feeling so guilty. I felt like I was responsible for everything that happened to you. Later after we met we spoke on the phone again. You told me you were going to be with your ex-boyfriend whom I also didn’t approve of and I told you not to see him. That you CAN NOT see him. That I forbid you to see him. And then you said something really important that made me rethink everything that I was feeling. You said that I couldn’t tell you what to do and that I can’t control you. I remember feeling bitter at first. But I’m just looking out for you, can’t you see that I care so much about you! But it dawned on me that it was true. I couldn’t control you and that you were in charge of your own decisions. I imposed my beliefs onto you and I became so invested in your decisions that I felt like they were a direct attack on me. I took it too personally and for that I am sorry. Although I still do not agree with the people you surround yourself in and the situations you put yourself through I know that you are the one in charge of your life. I think from that moment on, I think that was the start of me understanding my place in my friend’s life. That I ultimately can not tell them what to do, no matter how much I disagree. I think that after that I just learned to be there, and not to abandon them. We both grew up, but I hope we don’t grow apart. You are truly a special one to me.
Love you always,
Quinn